Pumpkin Scones

Ah, scones. I'm not a huge fan of scones, generally speaking, unless they're the fluffy deep fried bread variety. The bottom line: they just weren't good enough to justify the calories. The original recipe for these scones touted that they were a healthier version of the Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. Seemed like it was worth a try, right?

It was quite an adventure making these, complete with a variety of increasingly intense expletives. Rather than giving you the original recipe, I'm going to tell you what works so that you don't have to fill your children's ears with the same lovely words I did.

First, I'll tell you how my morning went. Started going to Sprouts Farmers Market to pick up a few of their ad items. Every person in the store was on their own time schedule, graciously blocking each aisle with their shopping carts so no one else could fit on the same aisle. After surviving Sprouts, I went to Smith's, hoping to find a pastry cutter. I'm shocked I don't have one yet, but I don't. I've always avoided recipes that required one because, frankly, I think it just takes too much time. Smith's didn't have a pastry cutter. WTH? Then the dairy department is sold out of unsalted butter and there's not an employee in sight to look in the back. Insert first round of expletives.

I already had pumpkin scones on the brain and I didn't feel like stopping at yet another store. I decided to try the "alternate" method of cutting the butter with two knives. Hey, what's the worst that could happen? By the way, I think asking this question has a similar result to one who says, "I'll be right back" in a horror film.

Well, as it turns out, cutting butter into dry ingredients with two knives is the biggest pain in the you know what ever,  so I promise you right now I will never ask you to do it. The second round of expletives came about this time. I thought, maybe I can cut the butter by pulsing it in my food processor. That might have worked, except that I dropped my food processor, breaking it beyond repair. You can imagine the fun words coming out of my mouth at this point. My kids left the room.

I went back to the knife method, thinking maybe I could cut the butter fast enough because of my fabulous mood. Nope. I finally gave up, pulled out my electric mixer, and just whipped the s**t until the butter was mostly broken up. Mostly.

On top of all this, the dough was completely unworkable, smooshed into piles of mush when I tried to put the supposed rectangles on the cookie sheet, and stuck to everything it touched. I almost scrapped the whole batch, but decided that because the batter tasted soooo yummy, I wasn't ready to give up just yet. I just got my hands wet and sort of "molded" something resembling a triangle on the parchment paper.

To my astonishment, they turned out amazingly. Including the topping, they came up at 239 calories, far better than anything you're going to get from Starbucks. And in my humble yet correct opinion, they are so much yummier!

Ingredients:
2 cups old fashioned oats
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cloves
3 Tbsp milk of choice (I use unsweetened soy)
1/2 cup pumpkin puree (not pie mix)
1/4 cup liquid egg whites
5 Tbsp cold butter

For the glaze:
2/3 cup powdered sugar, divided
4 tsp milk of choice, divided
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp each: cloves, ginger and nutmeg

Preheat oven to 425.

Put oats in a blender and whir on high speed until you get a fine powder. Dump into a large mixing bowl and whisk in the sugar, salt, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, pumpkin and egg whites.

At this point you will "cut" the butter into the dry ingredients. Pick your method, but I cut mine into small cubes, then used my electric mixer on low speed until almost all of the butter was broken up. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

The next step was to mold the batter into a square on a floured cutting board and cut into 8 triangles. The dough is far too sticky for this, so don't even bother (unless you enjoy spouting expletives). Instead, divide the dough into 8 equal portions. Use slightly wet hands and shape the dough into a triangle type shapes on the parchment paper. Bake for 12 to 13 minutes. The center of the scone should spring back when pressed lightly. Let cool on a wire rack while you prepare the glaze.

For the glaze, you'll be making a white glaze and spiced glaze. For the white glaze, combine 1/3 cup powdered sugar and 2 tsp milk in a small bowl. Whisk together. Use a pastry brush to glaze the top of each scone. You should have just enough to do all eight. Then, in the same bowl, whisk together the remaining powdered sugar, milk, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and nutmeg. Use a spoon to drizzle it on each scone in a fancy design. Let icing set for a few minutes and serve. If you happen to have leftovers, store in an airtight container (after the scones are completely cool).